Bottom Line - Don't Be Chill

[00:00:01] You're listening to the Planner Girl Chatter podcast with your hosts Jamie Marcus Bratcher and Colleen Phelan Grab a fresh cup of coffee and the closest planner start unboxing your latest Etsy order cuz it's time for Planner Girl Chatter

[00:00:15] Welcome everybody to a fresh episode of Planner Girl Chatter. My name is Jamie And I don't know why I'm talking like this Aggressive So aggressive Jamie news. It was fresh and aggressive Hi, I'm Colleen and I'm less aggressive Jamie in fact some would call me laid-back

[00:00:34] Give me three examples of how you're laid-back planner One I didn't pre-order my dinner tonight Okay, that's one sure Uh-huh to my planner isn't always filled in Three oh you come up with three that means that you are laid-back

[00:01:06] So Jamie will share that tick-tock in our Facebook group so you can all appreciate the things Single ladies have to deal with My new hobby outside of planning and sewing is now sending Colleen the dating tick-tocks that come across

[00:01:22] My feed so that she can share in the joy that I have Hearing about what she is dealing with on the daily What is what is so amusing about this? Is that like there was a time where I was like Jamie

[00:01:33] Do you see all these things about being a cougar and she's like no That is just your algorithm and I'm like no I think it's our age Like that's why we get cougar stuff and she's like no Colleen

[00:01:45] Like I've literally never seen one and now she's watching all this dating stuff. And I'm just like it's Kelsey next to you like Jamie another dating one. Come on. What's happening? That there was a point where I was getting a lot of like really crude sex stuff, too

[00:02:01] I sent you a couple and I was like, how did we oh my god. Yeah, I was like what is going on? Yeah, I don't know I think it was because I was editing a sex trafficking podcast and so it's having to Google some different things

[00:02:12] Okay, think it popped it up that way. So What's so quick? So there's a documentary on Netflix about porn hub Yeah yet to watch but I will watch it because I'm fascinated by things and I had a I was

[00:02:27] Subdating somebody new and we were picking something and he was like And then I realized it's like oh this is too early Like this is too early in like a dating relationship to be like no

[00:02:38] I'm okay with watching something about porn. Like I'm fascinated by you know, sex work industry in general and Then we watched nature shows instead because it seems like it was safer For him not for me. I was in so I need to watch that probably later

[00:02:55] You're like I'm gonna get a sex show At one point my husband and I were sharing a Netflix account with his parents like his parents were on our Netflix Our Netflix and we had watched there's one that's like about all the porn stars that left porn and

[00:03:13] It's like an older Netflix documentary anyway, but his folks had our kid like Kendra and they were babysitting her And he was like, oh, I'm gonna watch this And so they were like, oh what do the wash-up porn stars like look like and I was like

[00:03:31] Mind your business or don't use it Like pay for your own Netflix if you're really worried about it. All right. Yeah, so I Was like, okay, I'm gonna watch porn I'm gonna watch porn I'm gonna watch porn

[00:03:48] I pay for your own Netflix if you're really worried about it. All right. Yeah, so Anyway, oh my god. That's funny the episode that we are here to have today and what we're gonna talk about is Stamps in the planer community and keeping yourself safe

[00:04:05] And I just have to say like we've been doing this podcast for a long time And I know that there's a lot of other planer podcasts and so sometimes I feel like we have like either sprinkled little nuggets for you guys in episodes over the years and

[00:04:22] Sometimes I worry that we're like covering repetitive stuff but then I'll get a message and someone will ask us about how to do this or Have you ever had this happen or they'll tell me little things, you know

[00:04:34] They're happening in the planner community to them and I'm like, oh shit Like I guess we did it like did you ever do an episode on it? And it's like I mean

[00:04:43] We talked about it at 84. Yeah, but like I don't have a catalog like that of the freaking you did at some point Yeah, I just want to remind you that you did I didn't know that in depth

[00:04:56] But when we were had lowered number episode numbers, I did know like oh, yeah an episode 9 we talked about that Anyway, so we felt like so many new people Entering the planner community so many of us participating in the community togetherness again

[00:05:13] That it was long overdue for us to do a roundup type episode where we just take a nice deep dive into All things keeping yourself not safe. Not just in the planer community, but on the internet in general because really

[00:05:29] the planner community is full of people on the internet and These tips are not just applicable to our community But they're applicable to any community that you are participating in I do remember the first time I felt scammed in the planner community

[00:05:42] And I know that we're gonna touch on this a little bit, but I'm still bitter about the target or Lachey Design bags that I bought that I could have gotten for $15 in this bitch sold them to me for 40

[00:05:56] And it was my fault for not paying attention. But also who sells The target ones for 40 and she did and I was like, I'd like to return them to you and she wouldn't let me

[00:06:06] Even if I paid shipping. Yeah, so I blocked everything and I don't care about her and I can't even remember her name But I hate her to this day That was my what would you have done differently?

[00:06:17] I would have asked to see the inside of the bag to see the target logo and then I would have not bought them So there was due diligence. I did not do because I was innocent. I was young. I was a planner girl with dreams

[00:06:32] Planner community that would just bring you to her bosom and care for you gently. I plan or mommy I wanted a planner mommy who gave and then good things good prices and Then the internet slapped you back down and said no, that's not how this works

[00:06:49] And then the internet was like, you know what they're scammers bitch. Just get ready And then a lot more scamming happened because this was you know in 2015 It was back in the day

[00:07:03] I feel like in 20. I got scammed for the first time like I remember getting scammed in 2016 I had actually bought from a girl locally that had come to a meetup and she had these really cute planner bags and

[00:07:20] She ran out of them at the meetup and said she would make more She had an Etsy listing just order the Etsy listing and she would either Connect with me and bring it to me or we could have coffee and it was like so early

[00:07:32] I was like sounds fun And I ordered a bag and a couple of sets of stickers of rats used to shop So I did all the right things like they were on there

[00:07:42] And then she was like, oh, I'll bring him to the meetup and I was like sure no problem. And then she was like Didn't show up to the next meetup and I'm like, hey if you're not gonna come to the meetup

[00:07:55] I need you to put my order in the mail and She said oh sure. I'll try to get it shipped this week. I should have time Never got shipped never got shipped and this went on and on

[00:08:10] For a couple months before I tried to report it and then it was beyond like the 90 days At the time and I don't know if this is still an Etsy policy

[00:08:19] but like at the time Etsy had a policy where like you had to report issue within 90 days of not receiving your item and I Reported it to them and they said it was outside the window where they were able to do anything about it including

[00:08:32] Refunding my money. And so that was when I was like, ooh I will never order from an Etsy shop in That way again where I try to be chill and cool with the planer friend because that is a mess So I

[00:08:47] Think it's I think one of the things that's really important is you don't be chill. Don't be chill Like pay for things the way that you can get your money back because I've definitely had to get my money back I've had to get some PayPal

[00:09:03] Returns and things so I mean I think that but it's like once you have the experience So Jamie, what would you have done differently? Sorry, I launched into solution focused speech instead of after listening Oh, I mean, I said I liked where you were going with that

[00:09:19] I think the only thing that I would have done differently is I would have just told her Like to put it in the mail And if she didn't meet the order timeline in the timeline that was discussed like whether it was getting it

[00:09:31] I would have just reported to Etsy early and not I wouldn't have been nice like about it I think that was the big like I just felt like this girl had like an extenuating circumstance and especially early on in the planner

[00:09:42] Community, it's like I need to send you grace And I need to understand that you may not have time to get to the post office over a month and a half

[00:09:49] I think the thing that upset me the most though was like when I was interacting with her and then at the end where I Was like hey, I hadn't contacted her for about a two week period

[00:10:00] closing up to that 90 days where he finally like reported it Etsy and Her tone was like rude with me like I was being absurd No, you had been so concerned about getting this bag. It was like it wasn't that Demonstrate all your concern

[00:10:21] What I just thought it was so absurd the way that she began to treat me like as if I was being The difficult one when I'm like this has been like Eight weeks likes that I've been waiting. Yeah, I mean

[00:10:35] But I've been waiting for this and so it was like the weird tables turning like I was the bad guy And I think at that point in the planner community like this long. So why can't you wait forever?

[00:10:45] We'd like seeing a lot of people being like unreasonable in like PGW at that time and stuff And so I was just like I don't want her to be like this girl is unreasonable But then it was like no, this is getting unreasonable

[00:10:56] Yeah, I mean I think there was like I think it's important to remember that you know in the beginning in the beginning in the Beginning there were long shipping delays I mean, I remember when Chrissy and had like the special ordering days, right?

[00:11:11] And I can't even remember exactly how we worked now, but it was like an algorithm because you know Kristen and Damien, they're smart. They're smart people. And so it was like this whole

[00:11:23] Thing where it was like here's the day you can order and you can order, you know, whatever And so you knew that people had day jobs And so they were doing this after hours and so there was some level of flexibility that you did

[00:11:37] Give and then I think there was a shift at some point where now it's like my expectations are Different now and I like to order things and receive those things in a reasonable period of time exactly

[00:11:52] again, it doesn't have to be like, you know, like two days, but You know within Three to four weeks is kind of my expectation now because I can get things like I can get stickers from England in that time

[00:12:06] Exactly. Yeah, I'm just just to preface this conversation even is I think it's being a smart consumer Like I think part of it is that I have an order tracker in my planner and when I order something I write down the

[00:12:19] Expectation of the delivery date which now gets sent on an Etsy confirmation like you didn't used to get a confirmation like that That's some of the stuff that I do now is like I look at the shop policy to see what their process

[00:12:30] Well, I look for the actual shipping time. Yeah, so like Things that are delayed. Yeah. Yeah. No, I agreed Yeah, that's just standard practice now and I mean it those things didn't used to exist in Etsy and now they exist now

[00:12:43] So I pay attention to those things if it's a shop that says something takes two to three weeks If I'm not in a rush for it, I will order it but I'm not sitting there day You know 22 being like my stuff hasn't shipped

[00:12:57] But if the next week goes by and I'm going through my planner stuff and I'm like, you know Like I'll put a sticker down and remind myself like you should get a shipping confirmation this week for that and it doesn't come I have a concern but I

[00:13:13] Think that that hasn't happened to me since 2019 I haven't had like an extenuous extreme us long Extended and did that's the word. I haven't had an extended shipping date since like

[00:13:27] 2019 and that was I was very pissed about that. I talked about it in the podcast. I remember so Yeah, I can remember some back in 2019 and then 2020 happened and now I'm like I got some stickers Yeah, I'm all right. Exactly great show

[00:13:43] It does help but I will say that peace with shipping times only comes when you don't have something You're trying to use for a specific time. Can you order a st. Patrick's Day kit and it comes after st. Patrick's Day? Maybe not

[00:13:58] When you go to events like towards the end of the year and there's inevitably a shop that'll say Should I cut like if it's November December people will be like should I cut for Valentine's Day?

[00:14:09] And then someone's husband will be like that's a long ways away and people be like these shouldn't you be cutting for Christmas? Like people have already bought for Christmas because they're planner people. Yeah Release Valentine's Day. They're ready Release the Valentine's Day like release the crackly

[00:14:29] I mean, I guess that's one thing is that you're scamming yourself if you have the nerve to think That if you're ordering a ready to ship something that will ship in two weeks at the beginning of March

[00:14:41] Like that shouldn't get in there. You missed the boat. You better go collect up your stickers and just hobble something together Right now I feel like you're being unreasonable for what my needs are in certain times and I would like for you to shut up

[00:14:57] And tell people ship my stuff quickly Quickly ain't coming You missed it. It'll be here for next year. It'll be here for ordering for 2024 if you're ordering at the beginning of March

[00:15:13] Yeah, no, that's true that is 100% true which is how you end up with a backlog of kits guys That's that's the moral of this story Yeah I have done that many a year with Christmas where I will order stuff for Black Friday thinking it will or Christmas

[00:15:27] And come January that I have some amazing Christmas kits to use the following December. Yeah. Yeah That's definitely happened to me more than a second Many many years Jamie what are other things that we should be aware of give me what's up? What's next on your planner girl?

[00:15:45] This is a fun one. I just wanted to remind you Colleen that This is spring which means that it's planner break-in season where people will break in and I'm doing air quotes right now You need someone to oh my god a new planner

[00:16:07] Do you need a new planner? Yeah Did you forget something? Oh my God. A new planner. I need a new planner. Yeah. Did your planner get stolen? My planner got stolen, Colleen. And like, I just really need to post about it

[00:16:23] in a Facebook group as a priority and be sad and see if anybody could donate stuff to me. Jamie, should I send you some stickers? I'll send you happy mail, Jamie. Would that be okay? I would love. Or do you want a planner?

[00:16:35] I would love all the planners and all the random act of kindness planner stickers. No, but I need a horizontal layout. Can you send me a horizontal layout? I mean, I really prefer a five punched. And if you happen to have like a really nice cover

[00:16:51] maybe leather, I'm allergic to pleather. That would be best. I need a Louis Vuitton sent to me. There's, it's been a few years since I bought mine. Helios really would be comparable to replacing what got stolen out of my car.

[00:17:07] And if it's this color, that would be ideal. Oh man, planner break-ins. I haven't seen one of those in a hot minute but there was a lot of car theft with planners for a number of years. And I'm not to say, I understand

[00:17:24] that that could absolutely happen, but like. Yeah, I mean, my purse got stolen from my car in Tacoma. And if my planner had been in my purse it would have been stolen but they were really much more interested in my credit cards.

[00:17:39] Yeah, I have had my car stolen before and my planner was left. So. Your planner was on the side of the road. They're like, I would not like your planner. Here, let me put this over here. My car actually got stolen for whatever reason.

[00:17:54] They didn't go into the glove box and I had all these money orders. This was like when I was in my early twenties I had all these money orders and cash in the glove box to pay all my bills.

[00:18:04] Cause I was super, that's how I paid stuff at that time. Like went and paid stuff at places and somehow all that stuff was still in the glove box. They took out like the seats and they smoked pot in my car, which I was

[00:18:16] and they stole my kid's car seat and stuff. But you know, all my bills in the glove box like through some miracle anyway. But yeah. Oh my God, that is a. It was very traumatic for me living in the big city.

[00:18:30] Well, I'm relieved that that miracle happened for you. And also I think if your planner gets stolen, good news, amazon.com can send you one. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you can buy a planner replacement on Mercari for pretty inexpensive. And by this time of the year,

[00:18:49] like we're recording this in March. So by this time of year, most planners are half off. So you can just order one fortunately for a significant discount. I love that. Yeah. I don't think that anybody needs to feel obligated to try to replace someone's, you know, taken planner.

[00:19:04] If you have the heart to do this, go ahead. But this is kind of like a long running scam usually in the planner community where it's just someone trying to get free stuff. It's bizarre. I think it's always a good plan if somebody comes into a group

[00:19:18] and I see this a lot less now probably because the groups I'm in. But if somebody comes into a group and they're posting and it seems like what they're looking for is for somebody to send them something, search them, search them in other groups,

[00:19:31] see how long they've been in the group. Just, you know, cause it's one thing if it's somebody who's been in the group for five years. It's another thing when they've been in for literally five minutes or like my planner got stolen.

[00:19:42] And then they're banking on like the sweet people in the planner community. Cause there are a lot of really thoughtful people with too much shit who look at that as an opportunity to get rid of their shit. Exactly. I've definitely had people say I've gotten started planning

[00:19:57] and I want to get into stickers but I'm not really sure about it. And I'm like, you know what? I got a stack of planner stickers sitting on my desk. Give me your address. I won't even charge a shipping. I'll pop them in the mail for you tomorrow.

[00:20:09] Like they're coming USPS, putting a stamp on it and best of luck to you. Put a stamp on it. And moved on with my life. But like that's very different than someone coming into a planner group and like begging for stuff. Like it's always so thirsty.

[00:20:24] You can for sure feel it getting weird, you know? Yeah. And I think it's, you know, it's one of those things where it's one thing to express interest in something. It's another thing to post about it. It changes the dynamic.

[00:20:40] And thank you Jamie for the way for that. By the way, by the way, by the way, for the happy mail you sent me. Oh yeah. I sent some happy mail. I got it. Yeah. Jamie sent me old school happy mail and I got it

[00:20:55] and I was like, what is this? And then it was happy mail. Sometimes I think, yeah, I send things out. Yeah. So good. I think I still have the card from when you moved into your house that I bought you. I'll send that someday.

[00:21:10] I think it's a year old now. That sounds good. You guys have to know that one time we went to a planner or what was it? When we did our planner retreat in Montana, I think it was like 2021. We both got cards for each other,

[00:21:20] but we didn't fill them out. So we just ended up handing them to each other blank. We did that thing for sure. Yeah, I should probably just mail it to you so that way you can reuse it with somebody else. That's probably smart.

[00:21:31] Asking for things from people in the planner world is weird. Like that's another thing is like when, you know, when people ask for like, well, it's not even like asking, they're like fishing where they're like, I really wish I could go to X and X planner event,

[00:21:44] but you know, I've just had so many things come up and it's like unsolicited in a group. Cause it's one thing if you ask one of your friends where you're like, hey, are you going to go to this event? And they're like, you know what?

[00:21:54] It's like not in my budget to be able to go or I wasn't planning on it or whatever. And you know, it's one thing if someone's like having a situation where it's like, oh guys, we should totally get together and get them a ticket so they could go

[00:22:05] because it seems like it's just holding them back and like, it would be fun and we want them there. It's a very different thing for someone to like drop into a planner group. And like, again, we have an incredibly generous planner community. And so it's always like,

[00:22:18] you know, things that I just, I really wish I could go, but I guess I'm going to have to skip this one because, and then they list like a laundry list of stuff. And I don't understand why folks do that because it's me,

[00:22:31] I always have read those posts as the admin of a group cause you're kind of protecting the group. Is this person fishing for someone to feel bad? Sometimes you see this as an admin in multiple groups or you're kind of like,

[00:22:41] oh, I'm just going to be a bad person. I'm not going to be a good person. I'm not going to be a good planner. I'm not going to be a good person. And then you start to realize that this person chronically does this

[00:22:50] because there are people in the, in the planner community that chronically do this, like sad, woe is me thing. And there's some people that just have hard lives and like we love them and we like them being at events and we want to see them there

[00:23:03] and we'll help make sure that they're there. But there's other people that just like randomly drop in and you're like, it is not our responsibility to help you get to a planner event. I don't even know you, you know? Well, I think, I mean,

[00:23:15] I think it's really like the planner community is an incredibly giving and generous community. And we see that like, you know, we talk about all different ways in which that happens. And so it is always natural that givers will find takers.

[00:23:32] And so some of what I think this conversation is really like, it's one thing if you're actively choosing to give because that's the way that you're going to be actively choosing to give because that's just where your heart leads you and you want to give.

[00:23:47] It's another thing that you're giving for a specific reason that turns out to not be the thing, you know? Cause there's been some stuff in the planner community that has not been the coolest. I think that's, you know, that's the piece where it's,

[00:24:04] I want to consciously choose where my money goes, which doesn't always mean it's going to things that are serious or necessary or buying or whatever, but I want to actively make that choice. I don't want somebody to give me a story so that I'm sympathetically giving.

[00:24:21] Yeah, I just, I think it's- I want to give because I feel good about giving. I don't want to give because I heard a sad story, you know? I remember when we were doing, when we were running Arizona Planner Girls and like our admin chat,

[00:24:35] we would talk about like giveaways where it was like, can we structure the giveaway in a way that it allows people to like play a game or submit something fun and not tell us your sad story about why you want to come to the event

[00:24:48] but can't afford to. We want people to be able to participate in a way that is not having to show- Like trauma- Yeah, like you don't need to exploit yourself to get a free ticket. Like just participate in a game and everyone is a giveaway.

[00:25:03] And you know, because I don't think that people should have to, yeah, trauma bomb in order to, you know, see the generosity come out in the community. So yeah. Absolutely. Agreed. Agreed. So another one that we've seen over the years, it actually like came up recently.

[00:25:24] A friend of mine said, did you get one of these messages? And I didn't, but I saw it kind of floating around in several Facebook groups. And that is people asking for individuals, not companies, individuals to donate planners for a charity

[00:25:42] or a charity drive that they're trying to do. You have experience in managing a giveaway like this for a nonprofit. And so what would your best advice be for someone who is trying to collect planners for a group of people out of the kindness of their heart?

[00:26:03] I would call a planner company and get planners from the planner company, which is in fact what I did. And it's amazing that planner companies are hugely generous, right? And they do have planners, especially if it's midway through the year,

[00:26:21] they have planner stock they need to get rid of. And so it's a win-win. And so, I mean, I certainly have also done journal, like I did like planners and journals. So that way people could have like something to do, like essentially journaling and active

[00:26:38] sort of writing trauma stuff down. So journals are one thing. And then the other thing is that planners can be really helpful. So you can have people donate, but here at the end of the day, like Erin Condren donated, I can't even remember,

[00:26:54] I wanna say it was like 100 or 150 planners to my community back in the day, back in like 2018 maybe. And that was an incredible opportunity for me to be able to share with different agencies so that they could share with the families that they work with.

[00:27:08] And so that was wonderful, but I wouldn't be able to get the same thing from, you know, just asking people to send them. And then also you're just dealing, I mean, donate to your local shelter if you wanna donate, but don't send to somebody across the country.

[00:27:23] No, no. It's such a weird request to ask individuals to donate extra planners. Like it would be one thing if it was posted in a planner group where someone was looking for help to accomplish some kind of a goal and people could,

[00:27:35] like, and it was happening in a public way where people could be like, hey, I would be happy to send a couple of extra happy planners that I had or I'll go pick them up. Like I've seen that happen over the years,

[00:27:46] but like to privately be DMing people and being like, hey, you have a lot of planner stuff. Do you mind sending me a couple of planners? Like, that's just wild. I can't even imagine. I wonder if I have some requests. I empower people in the planner community

[00:28:01] to encourage any individuals doing this to reach out to a planner company because they have overstock or like damaged stuff that they can send out if it's midway through the year, you know, they can do like what happened with Colleen. Absolutely. And I think, you know,

[00:28:17] don't underestimate the generosity of companies. You know, the smaller ones may not be able to offer as many because they don't print as many things or they print as they go. But for larger companies, they run their prints well in advance.

[00:28:32] And so know that like that's a really reasonable option and then they don't go to waste. I mean, I think that's the other thing is like you don't want it to go to waste. Like you want it to be used. Yeah, exactly. I think that goes for anything.

[00:28:44] The quilting community, which I'm like treading into a little bit, like people will ask for like quilts to be made for like soldiers or quilts to be made for specific things. Like making a quilt is a tremendous amount of time to invest in doing something like that.

[00:29:01] And it's expensive too. And so, you know, there's a structure around it. Like when someone is trying to do that. So, you know, like Colleen did this inside of the structure of the work that she does. It wasn't just like Colleen doing something

[00:29:13] out of the kindness of her heart. It was the kindness of my heart. Thank you. And also within the structure of my work. I mean, it's unusual. Don't you take away from my giving. I mean, I'm just saying that like 501C3s are a thing.

[00:29:29] And so like when someone's usually doing, like there's certainly people that are business owners that want to collect things like that and create like a donation. Like we've done some of that stuff in the past, but also like if it feels weird in your tummy,

[00:29:44] that's a red flag. And just maybe don't participate is all. Like trust your gut. Yeah. Well, or if you're not sure, ask somebody who's been in the community for a while, if it's normal. Yeah. Do that thing. Check on them. Verify.

[00:30:00] The next couple that I have for you, Colleen, are kind of tied in together. I would like to get your opinion on PayPal friends and family. And I can tell you a story about early planner world associated with this.

[00:30:18] That the woman isn't a part of the community anymore, but there was a woman very early on in the early days of searching for Michaels Washi that was a part of Arizona Planner Girls. And she had tried to order a bunch of the,

[00:30:32] at the time, very hard to get watercolor Washi that is now the bane of our existence as a community as a whole. Oh God, that watercolor Washi. How cute it was initially. I know, we wanted it so bad. I got it.

[00:30:46] And then I got it, and I got it, and I got it again. And then you got some more. Like, and then when I got rid of that, definitely got some more. So this woman had ordered a tube of that original Washi from someone in a Facebook group,

[00:31:05] and she sent it via PayPal friends and family. And she had ordered some other Washi samples and stuff like that. I think she spent, she'd said she spent $50, which at the time in planner world, that was kind of like a lot of money.

[00:31:16] But she sent it to the woman via PayPal friends and family. And she was very upset when she came to learn that, the woman went dark on her and never responded and never sent her the Washi oddly enough. So she paid friends and family on PayPal.

[00:31:37] Could she not get a refund, Jamie? She was not able to get a refund. What? I will say before I knew better, I mean, this is like, we're talking 2015 when I was selling planner folders for $4 in $5 with multi pockets, just so you know. I still have them.

[00:32:00] And good paper. I still have them. Yeah, such good paper. Look, high quality shit that I made. I did friends and family because I was like, oh, I don't wanna pay fees on this cause I didn't think of it as a business

[00:32:13] because I was like, I'm gonna sell 20 of these. And then that's, you know. And so here's the thing is if you have a business, you have to pay the tax. You have to pay the tax? And it sucks. You gotta pay the tax. You gotta pay the tax.

[00:32:30] You gotta pay the fees. That is business. That is small business. Even if it's a micro business, a micro micro business. And so just give things away to people for free and have them send you stuff. And then it's not a business. That's my business plan.

[00:32:46] Yeah, I mean the awkward thing about PayPal friends and family is it's really intended to send money back and forth between your friends. It's not intended to be a business tool. And so either people need to factor the dollar amount

[00:32:59] into the invoice that they're making money off of it, which if you're making something and selling it, that's making money off it. It's really awkward when you tread into like events and things like that too. Because like I remember early on with Arizona Planner Girls when we charged,

[00:33:14] we would have people just send us money, friends and family. I didn't really understand the difference. Again, this is 2016 that this was happening. We had some people send us back and forth PayPal friends and family, and we didn't really understand like the differences in it.

[00:33:29] And then we finally realized that it's like, oh, we're gonna keep doing events. So we need to like use a ticketing platform where there's a fee and people charge because this is like a serious amount of money. I need to have a little LLC

[00:33:42] because when we were doing Plancation, we were accepting like $50,000 of funds and spending that money. And so we needed to be like accountable with like a budget and a spreadsheet that tracked expenses because it wasn't big enough to have like a QuickBooks account to it.

[00:34:00] When you start getting into some of this money stuff, like you really have to balance that out from a business perspective. But then as a person, like sending people PayPal friends and family, you just need to be careful because it really is a private transaction and not-

[00:34:12] Yeah, there's no guarantee that you're gonna get a service at the end of that transaction. Because it's not for services. No, and I mean, like, I think it's one of those things where like that's where it's so important to really acknowledge what you're doing

[00:34:25] and that you are, if you're gonna be doing a business, you're doing a business. And if you're not doing a business, it's okay. But if it's a business, it's a business. And so I know for me, it was like,

[00:34:35] I don't wanna do this as a business, do it as a fund. And I never felt like Arizona Planner Girls was a business, but my CPA very much disagreed with me. And they were like, you can't do, except $50,000, even if it is just going right back out

[00:34:52] and you're not making profit off of it, you can't accept $50,000 to not be accountable to it. Like you have to run that amount of money like a business because it's too much money to not be accountable for. Like you need to set up a nonprofit

[00:35:05] or you need to have LLC. And so we took their advice and we dealt with the, everything that was associated with it. And we did end up having to run it like a business even though we weren't profiting from it. And- -. -.

[00:35:19] Even though everything that came in went right back out. I know, it was like, they were like, this would be a really profitable business if you paid yourself is what the CPA would say every year. And I'm like, yeah, I know,

[00:35:30] but that's not what we're doing with it. So anyway, but yeah. Label decorations don't buy themselves CPA. Exactly. Have you ever had to do a charge back on somebody? Yes, but not in the planner community. I just do it- Yeah. Really? Yeah.

[00:35:50] They delivered my package to the wrong place and wouldn't give me my stuff. Do you want to explain what a chargeback is in case people are unaware of what they are for some reason? Well, if you've never had to do a chargeback, let me help you.

[00:36:02] So say you pay for something with your credit card and then you don't get that thing. You can call your credit card and say, I didn't get that thing. And then they'll be like, oh, let's get it back. Let's get your money back for you.

[00:36:15] But then they'll also talk to the other side and there has to be some proof and email and all that kind of stuff. So do everything over email y'all. And that way you can confirm if you have to do a chargeback.

[00:36:24] But I haven't had to do a chargeback in the planner community. I've done PayPal refunds, like where people did not come forth with the goodness that they said they would. Have you had to do a chargeback? No, I haven't had to do a chargeback ever in my life.

[00:36:40] I've had to do them for businesses that I've worked with, like where services didn't get rendered and we had to do a chargeback because the person stopped communicating. So I've had to deal with them before. I think that one business I worked with, they got a chargeback.

[00:36:54] So I had to deal with like saying, no, we did do the service. Here's the emails, responses. Cause I mean, I think there's two sides to this whole conversation. It's like, if you're a shop owner, like making sure you're protecting yourself

[00:37:07] or if you're running events and accepting money, if you're accepting money, you have to protect yourself. But then if you are on the other side of it where you're a consumer, you have to protect yourself too. And so I've dealt with it like from a business perspective

[00:37:19] on both sides. And when you have to defend a chargeback against the bank, you like, because someone's charged back to you, you have to provide documentation, like a ton of documentation about this is what happened. This is the agreement. This is, you know, here's the contract.

[00:37:34] Here's the time that we worked with this person. Here's the service we provided, tracking, shipping, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And really like, you know, cover all your bases to protect yourself. But consumers have to do the exact same thing.

[00:37:48] You can't just be like, nah, I don't like it. And so I feel like we've dodged a lot of bullets because there have been some bigger times in the planner community where a lot of people were charging back.

[00:37:58] Like I think of like events that folks were charged back to charge back because they had paid for a ticket. And then the person that was supposed to refund them because the event wasn't going to be held went completely missing.

[00:38:14] And they needed to hurry up and do their chargebacks to make sure that they got their money before the window of time ran out. Is there a window of time? It depends on, I think it depends on your credit card agreement

[00:38:26] to my understanding is like some bigger places like American Express will do it for a long period of time. But some other visa type people will only give you like 90 days or something. So I think it's just a matter of knowing how you paid

[00:38:43] and what your rights are, you know, for charging people back. But I mean, I feel fortunate to never have had to do that. You know, I will say like, it's really convenient to do things over email because it's really easy to forward emails during a chargeback versus like

[00:38:59] if you're doing phone calls or something. So my recommendation based on my experience from 2001, when my package was delivered and the gap did not come correct was do it over email. So that way you can just forward it because it's a lot harder to prove phone calls

[00:39:15] in the content of the phone calls. It's a lot easier to do it over email. So that is my professional recommendation from 23 or 22 years ago. Well, now that we are treading into more events happening, a lot of this podcast has been focused around like events

[00:39:37] and it's always like a really touchy subject because people will ask me about like whether they think they're getting scammed at an event or scammed in this and like, is it fair that a ticket is, you know, not refundable or whatever?

[00:39:52] And it's like, again, like this is a delineation within the planner community where it's like, it's super important that you read the terms and conditions for a ticket when you buy for a ticketed event. Like I have a heart for event people

[00:40:06] and so I feel like I defend event people more than maybe what I should, but it's like if you buy a ticket for an event, that money goes pretty quick once you get it. And so you need to read the terms conditions of the ticket

[00:40:20] because most event tickets are non-refundable, non-transferable. And even when it comes to a transfer, if a ticket person sells you a ticket and you don't have anyone to transfer that ticket to because they didn't buy the ticket

[00:40:36] or like there's no one on a wait list to buy the ticket, they can't transfer your ticket to provide you with a refund. And so when we get into ticketing season, there's like, I feel like there's a ton of stuff that people have to be aware of.

[00:40:51] It starts with buying your ticket for the event. The person holding the event is usually under no obligation to make sure that you can resell that ticket or to refund that ticket. And that is your risk by buying a ticket to an event in the first place.

[00:41:02] Yeah, and I think it's one of those things where it's important to be aware of, right? Like whenever I'm booking travel, I am really conscious of if I'm gonna choose to buy insurance or not. Some people will always buy travel insurance

[00:41:16] and I don't because I know I'm intending on going, but I will say that like there's been times that's almost screwed me. And so it's definitely important to be aware of. Yeah, I think most people in the planner community, like most people putting on events

[00:41:31] really are focused on the community around it and they'll do their best to like be able to help you move a ticket or post that like, hey, someone has a ticket for sale. If you want to buy their ticket before buying a ticket online, you can do that.

[00:41:43] Like most ticketing people are accommodating, but there's also like a limit to what you're able to do. And I think that's a really important thing to be aware of, but we've seen some stuff in the past too when it comes to sponsorships of events.

[00:41:58] And that's another hairy one where there was a big event many years ago that people did not have contracts for sponsorships. They thought that they were paying for one thing and there was, I wouldn't go as far as calling it a miscommunication,

[00:42:17] but they thought that they were getting what the sponsor thought they were getting and what the person selling the sponsorship, like the event host was providing. And so I would recommend that if you are doing business with another person as a business owner,

[00:42:29] that you get an agreement or a contract in place. And if someone is not offering an agreement or a contract that you know that you are like putting yourself at risk, especially if they ask you to pay them via PayPal, friends and family. I like how you're like,

[00:42:45] let's bring this back to the beginning. Well, it's like it all starts to tie in. I think too, like I think the hard thing that we've seen over the years too is that sometimes people don't intend to scam folks, but over time, they like a situation evolves

[00:43:05] and then they're like in- This is how situationships happen, Jamie. It is. It's not always with ill intent. It's not always with ill intent. We've seen some entanglements in the planner community that people have gotten themselves into. We've definitely seen some entanglements, that's for sure.

[00:43:25] That is for sure. I mean, I just, again, like I feel like use your common sense. Like if it's a business running a business, get an agreement in place, get a contract, like a contract is an agreement. I say this to people all the time, like professionally,

[00:43:38] a contract is an agreement so that you know what the relationship is defined as. And it's a good idea to have an agreement in place so that your relationship doesn't get damaged in the long term. That's it, Jamie, right there. Well, Jamie, I had insomnia last night.

[00:43:54] Colleen's gonna fall asleep on me. She's so bored with me. I am. And like, and I love adult stuff. Like if we were talking about my dating life, it'd be different, Jamie, but you've moved on from that. And you wanna talk about real things like money.

[00:44:08] Do you have a dating story to like wrap us out and make it lighter before we end this? Do you have a scammy dating story? I feel like you'd have to add one. God, do I have a scammy one? I don't think, you know what?

[00:44:25] I don't think I give off the right vibes for somebody to attempt to scam me. That's good. Yeah, I think the worst that I get, and it's actually, this is funny, this just happened this weekend, is dudes just, they'll cut, like keep creeping into your DMs.

[00:44:43] Like, so the guy who made me pizza like two years ago sent me a message on Friday asking about any restaurants that I like in town. And I'm like, bro, like you didn't wanna be my friend. I gave you the offer to be my friend.

[00:45:01] You didn't wanna be my friend. I guess the only scam I get is that somebody, thinks they want a relationship with me and they do not. They want other things from me. That's the scam, Jamie. But I will say, I mean, I will say as of late,

[00:45:15] I've met some very, very nice gentlemen who were very thoughtful, very giving, and very conscientious. Did they give you three reasons on why they were conscientious and thoughtful? I'm not gonna confirm or deny that I got three reasons. But I will say that nobody pre-ordered me dinner.

[00:45:33] So that's kind of disappointing really. And this is why you need to be in our Facebook group so that you can know the joke. Exactly. I think it's gonna fail. I don't know that anybody's gonna understand, but you guys, we want you to watch the video.

[00:45:46] And it'll be- No one's gonna think it's as funny as what we did. So Colleen, before we depart though, I will also post this in the Facebook group. Did you get my Korean spa TikTok? Because... Yes, I did. It was just as horrifying

[00:46:04] like listening to that woman's experience as yours, especially with the tail end of like, and then I got to see her naked. So it was even stupid. So we both were naked and I was like, I don't even know what's happening.

[00:46:16] And then I will say I was fascinated because it sounded like she had a dramatic weight loss. So she had some extra skin. And so I feel like that might've been satisfying for the massage lady, like need that. Exactly. Yeah, we already decided

[00:46:31] we're going to the Houston event that we went to last year. We're going back to the Korean spa this year. We're doing it again. It's happening. So... Yeah, so I'm definitely not going to Houston. No. Your heart passed on it? That's a real, real hard-

[00:46:48] We found a fountain pen store we're gonna go to. We're gonna take a little double decker tour of the city. Like there are other things beyond this. So I still would encourage you to consider coming to Houston and just- Yeah, no.

[00:46:59] You guys are gonna try to get me to a Korean spa and I'm just not in. All right. Well, we have offered- I don't feel like you are honoring or respecting me. We have offered you the ultimate relaxation. We respect your privacy

[00:47:11] and your ability to keep your body to yourself. And we will leave it at that. Thanks, Jamie. I respect you, Colton. You know, Jamie, with that, I want you to keep planning and to stay awesome. Adios. Adios? Adios. Adios. Bachachos.

[00:47:28] I'm just saying, you know, I'm not faking that I'm tired. It's that like legit guys, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. And then I had to be at work an hour early and I already work at 8 a.m. Ew. Yeah. I don't-

[00:47:47] It's because I forgot to, I forgot to bring home my laptop last week because I was done working. I was like, I'm gonna go to bed. Oh my God. I'm like, oh my God. I'm so sorry. I'm like, I'm so sorry.

[00:48:02] I was like, I'm gonna go to bed. I just forgot to bring my laptop last week because I was done working last week and I was wrong. You can't even- And I needed it this week. You can't even excuse with spring ahead, fall back

[00:48:12] because you live in Arizona. So it's just the same for you so. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. So all I'm saying is it's 8.30 p.m. for me, which like, side note, Jamie, I'm like haggard and old. I might be extra pale. We don't know how white I could get.

[00:48:31] And Jamie's like, maybe I'll do some more squares for my quilts. And maybe that's the happy night. We you know what I just. I already said adios, but Chachos and this is still.

[00:48:45] I know I was just going to say I've been trying to go to bed at a reasonable hour, but the daylight savings, it's the first time we've had to do it. And I just it's I don't like it at all. And it shouldn't even exist. And it's terrible.

[00:48:59] And I'm still kind of running off of like reality being a different time. So I've just been like not acknowledging it and sleeping in a little bit since I work from home and don't really have to be anywhere.

[00:49:10] But I had to explain daylight savings time the other day to Kendra. And Kendra goes, she goes, wait a minute. If school if the time changed, shouldn't school start an hour later then? And I was like, no, the school stays the same time because she's the Arizona kid.

[00:49:30] And she goes, shouldn't the school stay the same time if I have to be there at 815? Shouldn't I have to be there at 915 now since they changed the time? And I was like, that works. And she's like, that is stupid. And I was like, yeah, I completely agree.

[00:49:46] And she's like, it's not like any. And I'm like, we all America agrees with you, Kendra, but that is not how this works. Here we are. Here we are. Well, not me because I live in Arizona. So it's all good for me. But here you are.

[00:50:02] But I'm excited. Is this getting old guys? Like, I don't know, but it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good. Everything's different. I actually have had like three separate conversations about how with other planner people today about how it is to reintegrate to society.

[00:50:20] Like Stephanie with Tipsy Dogs Designs and I went back and forth all morning about like, we don't even know how to like fix the baby hairs and like be normal functional. Oh my God. What's up with it? I don't know.

[00:50:31] Like I'm really not happy with like my winter. The baby growing in or something like my spring coat growing in like I have so many. Yeah, like. I think it's our age. It's the trance. It's the change in hair at this age.

[00:50:46] It's really it's good in some ways, but like that like today I had literally like alfalfa bangs. I don't even have like perimenopause. Is this like just what life? Stop it. I don't want to talk about it. I need to go to bed. We're so old dude. Jesus.

[00:51:04] Okay. So Jamie, it was great plan. Awesome. Adios, bachachos. Bye. Bye.

[00:52:21] Bye. Thanks for listening to the planner girl chatter podcast subscribe to our channel. So you don't miss a thing until next time. Happy planning.