Planning For What's Next

[00:00:00] You're listening to the Planner Girl Chatter podcast with your host Jamie Marcus Bratcher and Colleen

[00:00:07] Phelan. Grab a fresh cup of coffee in the closest planner, start unboxing your latest

[00:00:12] etsy order because it's time for Planner Girl Chatter. Sweet. Jamie thanks for rolling

[00:00:17] that sweet footage. Yeah I do my best to roll the beautiful bean footage all at once.

[00:00:22] That's what it is right? That's the beautiful bean footage. Thank you for just knowing

[00:00:28] that's where I was going. Yes. What's the name of the dog? What's the dog's theme? Book? No.

[00:00:37] Oh man. I don't know, somebody own the red. Probably not even in the same universe where

[00:00:42] people know what that is. People know. I mean there's like five people that are already

[00:00:46] listening to the podcast. No. God what's the dog? Okay well it'll come to us when we're trying

[00:00:53] not to think about it but welcome. I'm really screaming at the radio right now. I don't know if

[00:00:58] somebody's just like why don't you guys know bean's name but it's I feel like it starts with

[00:01:05] a bee. Bush. No, no bushes. It's bushes beans. And the dog Duke it's Duke. That's right.

[00:01:15] Yes. I don't need people yelling at me through their phones or their ear pods. I figured

[00:01:22] it out of my own Duke. It's very important that you guys know that I just threw my hair up

[00:01:28] in a ponytail and it looks perfect. Oh my god it was a perfect pony. It like separated

[00:01:32] in the middle like it was so good. And we both enjoyed it for Jamie. Yeah exactly.

[00:01:39] Like I was like oh that is good. And then I tried to do my hair and I just put it up in

[00:01:43] a messy bun but not a cute one because I've got these like flyaways in the front. So

[00:01:47] anybody has recommendations for what to do with these crazy flyaways in the front of my

[00:01:50] hair? I'd love it. Thank you. My current flyaways are starting to be just like gray. Well

[00:01:55] I think that's probably what is going to happen here but what do I do to them? I did

[00:02:00] by so I haven't used it yet but you know Facebook sucks you in to all the things. So have

[00:02:06] you seen ads for glazed hair treatment? That is like a color treatment that it's a wash

[00:02:12] in. So needless to say I bought some because you can get out on Amazon for the sale price

[00:02:17] so Amazon Prime delivered that for me. So I've got cherry glycelle that I'm going to

[00:02:24] try on my hair that essentially is supposed to just boost my natural color and it's supposed

[00:02:29] to make it luxurious and not fly away. Very nice. And I was like for less than 20 bucks

[00:02:35] I'll try that. I'll comb that in my hair. I mean I'm sure my self and everyone else

[00:02:41] listening will get an ad for this later. You are all welcome glazed the hair product

[00:02:49] that Colleen is not getting any money for. So I feel like I hope that you guys missed

[00:02:55] us. I Jamie just did the hearts too. Yeah, I did a heart with my fingers like as if

[00:03:02] you guys could see us like we do. Yeah, but we don't share this show. No, it's a mess.

[00:03:07] You guys don't want to say Jamie. Like so first of all, I have a beautiful background

[00:03:11] behind me except it's glare because there's window. There's a window and it's open. And

[00:03:16] then Jamie looks like a serial killer with nothing behind her except for like a bathroom

[00:03:22] that you can't tell if there's a shower curtain or not. So it looks like serious serial

[00:03:26] color land. Chair, I do like the chair color. That's new. The key is is looking like

[00:03:31] you're coming from an undisclosed location. I don't have done nothing to the walls in

[00:03:39] this room and it's killing me. It's your craft room. It is like the magic craft room.

[00:03:45] Hang a quilt, dammit. I keep making them and giving them away to the people that they've

[00:03:50] longed to so I'll get you at some point. So I just cannot with you. I cannot. Colleen

[00:03:56] with his friend. Oh, I mean, Jamie, like I don't want to make people feel overwhelmed

[00:04:05] by my life because I'm overwhelmed by my life but I recently went shopping in Seoul, not

[00:04:15] in my soul but in Seoul, South Korea. And I still haven't posted the bag of pens that

[00:04:24] I got from Monomy or something. Some pen brand that clearly is big in Korea. That was

[00:04:31] the coolest single pen shop I've ever been in and you could do like ink classes where

[00:04:37] you could like do your own ink color. And I got a 150 pen pack that isn't 150 pens but

[00:04:47] you can do 150 variations of barrels and pen color with what is inside of it. I haven't

[00:04:54] opened it yet. I have not opened it because I'm still overwhelmed by my life and by the

[00:05:00] person dying on the plane on the way home, which is not actually a fact but a possible fact.

[00:05:05] Yeah, I say it's a fact. I think that happened. It was wild. So yeah, so into Korea and it

[00:05:15] was amazing. And I highly recommend it. And I can't even imagine if I went to Japan, just

[00:05:22] based on Korea when it comes to stationery because if you're not in our Patreon and you didn't

[00:05:29] see my hip-hop stationery store experience, you're missing out. So yeah, check it.

[00:05:37] Jamie, you've also been pretty exotic locations as well with friends or things that wanted to

[00:05:47] be your friends. Well, I realized that I went to Austin, Houston, South Dakota and Colorado

[00:05:59] since we last spoke as well. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's exactly where you're going to be.

[00:06:06] You've got a Korea but I have been back as well. I mean, you have. You didn't have to go to Alaska

[00:06:14] on a diverted plane with the dead body. You didn't have to do that but you went to Austin and other

[00:06:20] places. And I love Austin because Gorda poses there. You listen, I did go to Austin and I realized

[00:06:26] we went to a late night comedy show and I realized the best thing about being old and being married

[00:06:32] is that you can just wear leggings and tennis shoes and you don't have to like, you don't have to

[00:06:37] dress up. Well, I mean, I was wearing nice acts actually but I realized I could have been in leggings

[00:06:43] but there were young people there. Exactly. You just use the term slacks. You old lady is a lot

[00:06:49] for me. Exactly. But I realized when I was walking through like what would have been the 20s night

[00:06:55] club scene, you know, back in the late that is today, actual 20 year olds doing things late at night.

[00:07:03] Like I stepped over vomit and it was in that moment that I realized like it was next to a street

[00:07:10] food vendor and it was in that moment that I realized that I love being older because it was

[00:07:14] not being in tennis shoes and not in heels and I could get away very quickly and it was just a very

[00:07:20] like solid. It's good for me. For me, being very comfortable, being older. I am really glad that

[00:07:29] that is the comfort that has been given to you. So did you want to talk about the ticks?

[00:07:38] Yeah, I really thought we were going to go through the checks on because that's really the worst

[00:07:43] story of my entire life. Like it makes me cringe thinking about it now so I don't even know.

[00:07:48] I feel like we have to do a disclaimer in a trigger warning because Jamie's next story, it's bad

[00:07:54] and I think she should insert how long it takes for her to tell this story before. So that way

[00:07:59] you can skip ahead if you're squeamish because this might give you nightmares. It might give you

[00:08:05] nightmares and because I had to know you have to know because sharing is caring and Jamie asked me

[00:08:11] before we started. If I was emotionally ready for this and I told her I'm a cancer, I'm always

[00:08:16] emotionally ready. So I have a lot of emotions. The long and short of it is when I was in the black

[00:08:23] hills, I went on a hike and it is tick season and we were I was coming back from a hike with my friend

[00:08:31] and I said let me check you for ticks and I check her nothing. I checked myself she helps check me

[00:08:38] and we found two which I was freaking out about but then later in the evening we were sitting there

[00:08:43] visiting and listening to other people talk and a tick was on my arm and I was like we were trying

[00:08:50] to kill it on the floor could not successfully kill it. And so I was like I'm gonna go change my

[00:08:56] clothes because I probably should have done that when we got back from the hike because I didn't take

[00:09:01] everything out and shake it off because I thought we got them all and I went back to our cabin to

[00:09:06] realize there were ticks inside my shirt between my undersert and my top like sweatshirt on and I had

[00:09:14] to murder them. Unfortunately they had to die but there was a medic station at the place at like

[00:09:23] the place that it was at and they checked me fully to make sure well not fully not fully not fully

[00:09:30] the woman the medic did ask me this she goes do you have anyone that can help you like check your

[00:09:36] creases? I was like listen I'm not trying to get to know anybody here that way so I'm gonna just

[00:09:45] you know use myself. So if you're gonna go hiking check for ticks this is your poll.

[00:09:55] And it's like and there's more to it that Jamie's not sharing but I think the crevices is a good

[00:10:02] place to end that story or the creases. So I recently jumped back very briefly very briefly I must say

[00:10:13] into the online dating world and there was one fellow that had his profile that his non-negotiable

[00:10:23] was hold on let me read it for you guys because Jamie I want to see if you can figure it out

[00:10:27] because I couldn't figure it out and I even googled it y'all because that's how I am

[00:10:32] because if I can't figure out an acronym I got to know so his non-negotiable was you are not

[00:10:38] e-u-d-t-p. I'm too old for that shit I have no idea. Oh my god I don't even think it's I think

[00:10:56] it's a him thing but it's actually it's smart it's emotionally unavailable due to pets.

[00:11:07] I was like nobody's ever accused me of being emotionally unavailable

[00:11:16] which is accurate that I don't get that I'm unemotional or emotionally unavailable. I have a lot

[00:11:23] of love to give but we did have to you know discuss that the dogs do sleep in the bed.

[00:11:31] That was our first topic of conversation so I don't think it's gonna go anywhere but I do

[00:11:36] think it's amusing and I want all of you ladies out there in fellas and thames and thays all

[00:11:44] the peoples to know e-u-d-t-p. Some people are e-u-d-t-p and it's important to be aware.

[00:11:54] Well my dog does not sleep on my bed so that's so sad for Brady she's fine she

[00:11:59] enjoys her privacy and her family. My dogs definitely are clingers so are they emotionally

[00:12:08] unavailable due to humans? Yes they are very unemotional for other people but for me I get all of it

[00:12:15] but I'm willing to share. I know we just jumped in there but you guys are still listening to plan

[00:12:20] or girl chatter we still do plan. Well some of us too. I think we could compare our

[00:12:31] planners from last year and I'm just saying one of us her planner was a lot better than the other

[00:12:37] one of us whose planner was not better because she had months off due to like COVID at the beginning

[00:12:43] of the year and then didn't put anything in her planner and don't even play with me mine is

[00:12:48] adorable from last year. Yeah I feel like a new colleague in all fairness because a planner being

[00:12:58] in a planner funk is rough because it's I don't know how you feel about it but I always feel like

[00:13:04] I just don't even look at me right now you guys. I just want you to know she's like Jesus needs

[00:13:09] to come for Colleen right now. She needs some help. I feel like when I'm in a planner funk I always

[00:13:17] think like there's this big chunk of something that I should be doing that I'm not getting to and I

[00:13:23] generally I usually know that I'm missing getting to stuff but it all happens somehow magically.

[00:13:31] Yeah the problem for me is that like I will legitimately not remember what I've done the last

[00:13:37] five months because it's not my planner so that's my problem is that like because I am not

[00:13:45] preserving it in a planner it will go away. Yeah and I don't have the energy right now to care

[00:13:56] so yeah I'm in a planner funk. I did get my planner cards out so it's out but fine job. I haven't

[00:14:05] opened up the planner. Moving the planner card back out to its position feels like

[00:14:12] this is position of mom's in the right direction. Yeah let's see let's just you know I have

[00:14:17] an out actually looked because I can't even remember what trip I put it in a drawer.

[00:14:23] I can't remember which trip I because I always put my planner away because you know if my mom's in

[00:14:27] my house she doesn't need to be known what egg plans are she won't figure it out but she's my we don't

[00:14:32] know so let's see what week I had this on. Okay no it is not that bad oh wait.

[00:14:47] Well I it's fine it's fine it's not totally empty well that's good the last time I filled in

[00:14:58] anything was March. That's rough that's it's been a little bit. Yeah sad oh I'm so sorry

[00:15:12] planner. Oh little hobo. Little hobo is just out there waiting for you to love on it. I wonder how

[00:15:23] many no I don't even want to wonder. I don't I don't even want to wonder how many planners are just

[00:15:31] you know perishing. Oh my god look at how many pages I haven't done anything on hold on let's

[00:15:38] just look at this Jamie. Let's have a circle recap here right now. Oh my god that many pages nothing

[00:15:46] it's how many pages so how many pages it goes from three to five. That's the number one.

[00:15:56] Technically six starting tomorrow. June 1st you know what June 1st is Jamie?

[00:16:03] It's the start of New Colleen. It's the start of New Colleen is what it is and New Colleen

[00:16:08] is going to be back in action because it is June 1st and you all like I think what's most important

[00:16:17] about my planner journey is that it happens to all of us and it's gonna be okay. And it's a

[00:16:27] whole new page. It's beautiful and I'm gonna have a planner. No no I might do a different cover though

[00:16:38] because this cover isn't really giving me life. Yeah I think that the cover plays a big part in

[00:16:44] not getting to it. I think it's actually you know what it is because I'm not doing weekly kits and

[00:16:49] so I don't have a theme. Oh so here's what I'm gonna do. I have a pro tip for you that I've been

[00:16:55] waiting for this to be discussed on the podcast. I know you're gonna tell me this but you know

[00:17:00] I'm gonna shoot you down but I want you to provide it for other people who might like it

[00:17:04] but no I'm not doing that thing but I want you to say it.

[00:17:09] Colleen I really think that you should try journaling kits. Tell me more about journaling kits

[00:17:14] Jamie. Show me. Show me the pages because maybe I can. Journaling kits have like the miscellaneous

[00:17:24] pieces like because the whole thing with the kits is that they don't fit into the boxes right?

[00:17:31] Ooh that's hard. Yeah so the journaling kit. Is that like the full kit or is there more pages

[00:17:37] than that for the kit? I bought a two page kit journaling kit so it has still your Monday through

[00:17:43] Friday in it. It has some like strips for you to do decorative stuff around and then it has

[00:17:49] like little it looks like it's actually I was wrong but it's not true. I was wrong Jamie.

[00:17:55] And so I'm just saying that actually I think that would work for me. Yeah you could look at

[00:18:00] journaling kits as a way to get past the funk. That's what I mean that's I've been using these

[00:18:08] just recently. I've been ordering them for a while but I was just kind of hoarding hoarding

[00:18:14] hoarding hoarding hoarding. No try it again try it again what was that? I have been ordering

[00:18:21] them for a little bit but I haven't been using them as well. I know you're a hoarder.

[00:18:30] I actually started using them recently and I ordered a few new ones because the ones that I had

[00:18:34] I looked at so many times that I couldn't bring myself to use them because I'm like that.

[00:18:43] Actually what happened with Kendra was doing some journaling and she wanted to take some

[00:18:47] my journaling kits and I was like no those are mine and I said no no I'm going to use those

[00:18:53] so then I had to actually like use them and I was like oh this is actually like really helpful.

[00:18:57] I'm so smart to have heard. Does it mean? Yeah because I really like that's part of the joy of it for

[00:19:02] me is like picking colors and finding the right sticker that has the right sentiment to go for

[00:19:08] the thing. And so I Jamie I think you're right actually now that I've seen the two page one

[00:19:14] and it's got the days which is helpful and then I can have five days so but it can be yeah okay

[00:19:20] where are some of your favorite shops for journaling kits? Well let's plan it as a lot of

[00:19:27] journaling kits that I purchased and enjoyed Fox and Pip has had some over time. I think people

[00:19:34] have been doing journaling kits for a long time. What? I don't think that's true. A couple years

[00:19:41] I mean oh no no if it's post pandemic it's old it's new it's new it's not in a couple of years

[00:19:50] I don't I don't really appreciate you trying to pretend that things are fast forward

[00:19:55] you know you're the same as before yeah I tried um I also got one from Prince by Rich

[00:20:06] I have a Baba Bear one and then pen a peeling Paula and the other one that I got was from a new shop

[00:20:18] um called stick with Nick those were the ones I was showing you and they don't my only complain is

[00:20:25] that they don't fit into my planner sleeves but I think I can use them up pretty quick so that

[00:20:30] they're not like awkward wow thing it but yeah so they're actually pretty cute they do come in handy

[00:20:40] and that's how I've been keeping up with my weekly planning and then when I'm getting stuck on a

[00:20:45] daily spread I'll just pull some of those out and put them down and it feels like you're using a

[00:20:49] whole kit but it's not a kit kit you know what I mean it's yeah you don't like any with this box

[00:20:54] here and okay I see the wisdom in it yeah yeah I think um yeah do you think that it do you

[00:21:07] think that it'll make you want to pick a different planner next year I don't know because here's

[00:21:16] the thing is I really don't want to buy kits like it because I have not seen because I've been looking

[00:21:23] I've been looking at kits um and I just haven't been feeling like inspired by stuff lately and I

[00:21:30] think it's I think really what it is it's not that there's not kits that are cute I think there's

[00:21:34] lots of cute kits I think that I am um like since I got back from Antarctica I've just been super

[00:21:42] busy and it's been not I mean I've gone to three continents in five months it's a little extra

[00:21:48] you're very important calling please I feel no I'm definitely not I know I'm not I'm not extra

[00:21:55] I'm important no I'm not important I'm extra um so I know I just feel like I haven't gotten into

[00:22:02] a group so I feel like it's I haven't gotten into a group yeah and Colleen needs to get a

[00:22:11] group back so Jamie I have some ideas oh yeah I have some ideas and I feel like you might want

[00:22:20] to join in are you ready yeah let's do it okay so I've decided that 45 which is my next birthday

[00:22:30] should be the year of self reflection and self examination so my idea is that each month

[00:22:42] there should be some type of theme or book or something where I spend energy on something about

[00:22:49] myself also it include any of us in this

[00:22:55] well Jamie this is why I'm telling you because I need some ideas

[00:23:03] so I have some ideas but I would love for people to recommend books that are like

[00:23:08] not necessarily I mean maybe self help books but like it makes me think okay here's my this is

[00:23:13] my inspiration and um sort of but kind of um Shonda rhymes her year of yes oh yeah the happiness

[00:23:25] book by the woman who wrote the happiness book I can't remember her right now I don't remember but

[00:23:30] I read it. Brechen Rubin, Brechen Rubin um or like like one month I know I want to do Bernadier Brown's

[00:23:37] Atlas of the Heart and I want to focus on thinking about Atlas of the Heart in the relation to me

[00:23:43] and and sort of spending energy on that because it feel like life got so hectic right then we had

[00:23:54] COVID and then we were just exhausted and now I am like what do I want

[00:24:03] and I am coming up with a lot of things and nothing all at the same time you know a colleague

[00:24:10] maybe it's a myth like crisis Jamie I don't know it feels like 45

[00:24:15] I'm gonna get philosophical on you for just a moment and it reminds me when we were at that event

[00:24:21] in Houston for the Texas planar babes um VJ with no teak asked that uh she did a whole presentation

[00:24:28] on how much we're just absorbing media all the time that is like on Instagram and on Facebook

[00:24:35] that is really just like sharing information constantly and either they're like a lot of times

[00:24:42] the only question that we're really being asked is like do you want to buy this

[00:24:46] and she asked us to kind of sit back and reflect on what do you want

[00:24:52] and then even just being asked that question everyone in the room was looking around like shit

[00:24:59] oh no right we ended up having like we ended up having a classic late-night Jamie Convo

[00:25:09] oh my god the tears of the lobby I know something right

[00:25:12] the lobby with a lovely group of gals uh walking through the question but it was um I think that you

[00:25:19] I can tell you that you are not alone in feeling that way is that it's a little bit like we did

[00:25:24] all this stuff in COVID everybody's lives have changed now what like he's supposed to do with all

[00:25:32] of this like weird energy and like yeah it's like we learn things about ourselves but we learn

[00:25:38] nothing and we want to be home but we want to go out and we want to travel but then it's exhausting

[00:25:43] and overwhelming and like it's just like angsty yes exactly yeah and so yeah and and so

[00:25:51] instead of pretending it's not angsty I want to like dive into it and I want to dedicate

[00:26:00] the time to look into me right and like in different ways right where it's

[00:26:08] because there's 12 months so I feel like there could be 12 themes or it could be like four themes

[00:26:15] in three months dedicated to that so like maybe like four months is dedicated to your body

[00:26:23] and like connecting with your body so like um learning about yoga and thinking about how your

[00:26:28] body holds trauma and doing different things like that like maybe three months or four months is

[00:26:33] um like emotional work and format you know I mean I think it could be a number of different things

[00:26:38] um it could be what you need it to be like I don't think that it needs to be something that

[00:26:44] is just like a list or something like I think the point of it is finding

[00:26:49] what you actually need right now well but I also think it's asking yourself questions you haven't

[00:26:54] asked yourself before right I think it's putting energy into different things because

[00:27:02] I think when you say like it's what you need like you don't even know what you need

[00:27:06] that's what I was just about to say like how do you get around to the point that you know what to ask

[00:27:09] even well and that's why I think you have to think about themes right and I think it's about

[00:27:16] what are the areas of your life and so I think in that way it could be individualized

[00:27:21] like people could do different things but I'm thinking um each month should have you know some sort

[00:27:26] of focus and whether it's you read this book or you do this workbook or you know um you know

[00:27:33] like years ago I did like the artist's way right like so there's things like that where there's

[00:27:37] like these old uh old I mean I mean it is old but like different versions because people have been

[00:27:43] doing this forever in some capacity or another um but I just think it's a unique time because

[00:27:51] we're a few years out from the pandemic we're at an age where we have the love sherry

[00:27:58] like of doing it right because like your kids are all at an age now we're like not that Kendra

[00:28:04] doesn't need things from you but she doesn't need things from you the same way she did 10 years ago

[00:28:08] no it's actually been like this last weekend I was at a graduation and my friend

[00:28:14] that her daughter was graduating it was like it's her first she has one more after that

[00:28:19] but it's a weird feeling to have less responsibility with your kids because you've invested so much

[00:28:25] in them and they just kind of have to like launch out into the world at some point and we were kind

[00:28:30] of talking about it was Zoe who even at 21 still felt like we kind of abandoned her and she knew

[00:28:36] she was okay after a week or two but she didn't think she was ready and I mean I don't know that

[00:28:40] you ever think I mean you either think you're ready in a cocky way or you don't ever become ready

[00:28:46] but yeah as a parent it's weird because you do have this tremendous amount of responsibility

[00:28:52] and tremendous amount of time commitment and then it just kind of goes away very quickly

[00:28:58] and where you're just like not responsible for as much and it's like how do you fill your time with

[00:29:03] this and Kendra still needs me but she needs me much less or she needs me for like bigger

[00:29:11] like small daily things not like over our chain huge things in a lot of ways and so it is very

[00:29:19] different than when she was little and so yeah I absolutely know a lot of women that are thinking

[00:29:25] about that right now like what it now that so much has just changed and how do we reconcile

[00:29:32] that and what do we do with that energy so I think that I want to talk more with you off the podcast

[00:29:40] about this so that we can maybe build a little bit of a structure around it for inside of the podcast

[00:29:46] group on Facebook and share it out with people and hope that they'll share with us what they're

[00:29:51] doing because I think that I think that we were so used to being in community with people all

[00:29:55] the time too and having these conversations to people before with people face-to-face maybe not

[00:30:02] deep but yeah that's different like I knew more about people and I feel like when I sit down to

[00:30:08] have conversations with people they're like how do I feel about that well and I think that I think

[00:30:18] there is something about the luxury of being able to have these conversations and and I think here's

[00:30:23] I mean sort of I think what I would love for us to do and literally like Jamie and I are

[00:30:31] literally spitballing this on the podcast so this is not something that we plan. This is how the

[00:30:36] magic happens. This is right here like this is it but Jamie how amazing would it be to have some

[00:30:42] type of retreat right so we could do like every three months we could meet up and and I don't

[00:30:49] like I know you'll want to be like all goal oriented bullshit but what I want is to have conversations

[00:30:57] and think about what to focus on for the next three months and it's something that potentially

[00:31:02] like and literally I just came up with this right now because this is not was not kind of in my head

[00:31:07] we could do something where like we we travel to places like different places and just spend some time

[00:31:13] so it's like this three months is going to be this thing but people could do different things right

[00:31:18] so it could be conversations but spending time in community and and spending time thinking about

[00:31:26] like what do I actually want to be putting my energy into versus what I am because I know for me

[00:31:33] I get so annoyed with myself because when my energy is low I throw on the TV right so I throw

[00:31:42] on the TV I cuddle with the dogs so this weekend finally I started organizing my craft room and it

[00:31:49] was the first time I turned on my desktop computer since December because I couldn't get to it

[00:31:59] because I had so much shit on the desk that I just bother using it and I you know and it's like

[00:32:04] my brand new really nice computer and it's because I just didn't take the time because I was too busy

[00:32:10] watching like love is blind yeah which look I'm not saying I'm not going to watch love is blind

[00:32:15] so don't even hear that yeah I was like we're gonna still keep watching it yeah we're definitely

[00:32:19] watching it but I recognize that like I use other things as fodder for when I'm tired versus

[00:32:30] why don't I do something that like that is useful to me yeah

[00:32:37] the level of self-reflection but like it doesn't have to be stressful it could be fun yeah I have

[00:32:44] not been as goal-setty I feel like my husband and I've been really reflective on this past year

[00:32:50] as we moved out of the RV moved into the house that like I still really feel like I'm getting settled

[00:32:56] that also moving into the house checked off a lot of goals for us and so a lot of the goals

[00:33:02] that we had had in mind are cleared out and so I mean like that weird position right now where

[00:33:09] it's like what is next and it's been really weird like I got a weird job check-in from an old

[00:33:16] boss that was like asking me to come back and work with them and then like it feels like there's

[00:33:22] some contracts that I have that maybe need to be ending maybe pursuing some others so it's left

[00:33:27] me like angsty is definitely the word that I would say it's like it's left me very angsty like unsure

[00:33:32] what the best next steps are obviously our situation has changed or we're not like traveling around

[00:33:37] all over the place so when I have roles that make me leave the house it's a little bit or like make

[00:33:43] me have to go out of state for multiple days at a time it really is pretty disruptive to the family

[00:33:49] so should I be finding some other ways to do work anyway so it's definitely hard to like think

[00:33:54] through all those decisions just in a practical sense not even in a goal setting sense but

[00:33:59] just in a practical sense and then like it's really made me have to step back and think about like

[00:34:05] what do I want this next phase of my life to look like in the day-to-day like do I want to be

[00:34:11] traveling more do we you know when Kendra is done with school to Kelsey and I want to be in a place

[00:34:16] where we're traveling more do we want to be home more do I want to get more involved in the community

[00:34:21] that I'm living in do well if you do and what way right I mean I think that's right like because

[00:34:28] I think that's where you know I think you and I are both people that say yes right like we're

[00:34:32] yes people like here's an opportunity I'm gonna say yes to this opportunity and I would like to

[00:34:39] consciously move towards things that I actually want to do for whatever reason not say you know not

[00:34:49] and which is not to say that things I haven't done but I mean the podcast like I've been open

[00:34:53] about like you asked me and I was like sure I'll do that thing I had no idea right that like

[00:34:57] this many years later we would still be talking about our stickers and pens and shaming me we're

[00:35:03] not using my planner um but it's also you know when I think of self-care I've spent a lot of time

[00:35:12] consciously learning about self-care but not necessarily focusing specifically on me yeah you know

[00:35:21] in my and who I am outside of like you know I've done therapy and I've done stuff like that but

[00:35:27] I think there's more I think there's more self-examination and reflection and and I'm in a space

[00:35:35] where I can do that yeah and choose I think so too I mean that that is a thing too about being

[00:35:42] apparent is like sometimes there's just obligatory things that you need to do like there's and I know

[00:35:48] this sentence down that like sometimes it does make sense to be involved in the PTA sometimes you

[00:35:54] need to be on these little boards you know if your kids are involved with something and so you do get

[00:35:58] swept up in the yes like we've had the luxury of having a lot of that stuff wiped clean too like

[00:36:05] COVID wiped a lot of obligations away because there was a lot of stuff that just stopped

[00:36:09] so that was it was kind of nice to have some of the obligations wiped away but then in the other

[00:36:15] sense of things it's like now that that slate is clean what yeah what do you want to let back

[00:36:21] on your plate what do you want to do and you know for me I always feel like

[00:36:29] my mom gave me the confidence as a young woman to always believe that I can do anything so for

[00:36:35] me it's not a matter of whether or not I'm capable whether or not I can wrap my head around it

[00:36:41] it all will work out the biggest thing that I've struggled with like in this past year especially

[00:36:46] is like what do I actually want to be doing with my time and yeah I want to be spending my time

[00:36:51] as I move into you know my mid 40s and beyond how do I want to be committing my time you know in

[00:36:59] this new phase of whatever the hell life is now and yeah really had a hard time answering that

[00:37:05] question overall and it's like I think it's like blocked up a lot of other decisions that need to be

[00:37:11] made to like between how I'm spending my time and things like that when I was at the place that

[00:37:19] with the ticks when I was back in South Dakota when I was at the tickland that event that I

[00:37:25] was I had like a healing space and it was really nice to be able to talk to somebody like in the

[00:37:32] context of like the work that I'm doing and have a discussion with them that was really grounding for

[00:37:39] me and I had a couple of those discussions not only with people that do similar work to me that

[00:37:45] just people that I really connected with and it was weird because it's been a long time since I've

[00:37:49] connected with people one to one like that and it really felt good like for the first time in a

[00:37:57] long time because I've really not wanted to connect with anybody like I was telling Colleen and Layla

[00:38:03] this week ended a Patreon meetup like I don't really want new people sometimes like I think about

[00:38:09] missing having a book club like when I lived in Gilbert we had a book club and I don't really

[00:38:14] want to have a Zoom book club like I could if I wanted to have a book club I could have a book club

[00:38:19] but I don't really want to have a Zoom book club I'd like to meet some people here but I also

[00:38:23] have already put the feelers out for trying to join a neighborhood book club and then I was like

[00:38:27] I guess I'd have to start one and then I'm just like ugh like the idea of taking that on is like

[00:38:33] too much and then that's what I mean again like I'm conscientious of that decision and I'm feeling

[00:38:39] my way through that and saying no I don't think that I want to be responsible for connecting people

[00:38:45] together in a book club I think that that's maybe not the time to do that right now you know.

[00:38:51] Well and for me like one of the things that has brought me here as well you know like is this like

[00:39:00] similar to you right like I've always like if I wanted to do something I've gone after that thing

[00:39:05] and and I can't remember if I said this on the podcast but I know I told multiple people

[00:39:09] in my life that you know when the opportunity to work in Antarctica came up I didn't have dreams

[00:39:17] big enough to even think of that as a possibility right so I didn't even like when it came up of course

[00:39:24] like I didn't hesitate and I was like instantly yes because for me it's an instant yes

[00:39:31] for a lot of people instant hell no but for me it's an instant yes and then as I you know had to go

[00:39:38] through the process and the process was hell and it was terrible um I still the level of excitement

[00:39:45] I had literally to the day I left in Antarctica like in had to come home I could not have fathomed

[00:39:57] that right like I did not have the vision and and that is as somebody who booked a cruise to go

[00:40:03] into Antarctica as a tourist right like so it's not as if I didn't think I could get to Antarctica

[00:40:08] but the idea of actually being paid to go and like to get to do this amazing thing that

[00:40:13] like goes with my career and all that and that to me is one of the like why do I not have

[00:40:24] dreams that big right like so that's also I mean I think maybe that's part of it for me is like

[00:40:30] is this like the year of dreams right where it's like what are the possibilities and where do you

[00:40:36] actually want to spend your energy and what how big are the dreams you want to make yeah and

[00:40:44] and why like why is that the thing you know in understanding why that's the thing that you

[00:40:51] want to do because I mean like 45 is solidly midlife if I'm lucky right if I'm lucky I get to

[00:40:59] 90 I don't want to get to 90 if I'm lucky I get to like solid 80 I'm happy with that like I don't

[00:41:04] want to be much older than that um so I'm already past midlife right so what do you do with the rest

[00:41:12] of the time like how do you set yourself up how do you make those choices and how do you consciously

[00:41:17] live yeah conscious living right and so I think 45 is a great year to figure it out and for you

[00:41:24] 44 right year younger than me 44 on our birthdays yeah so for you 44 for me 45 it's

[00:41:33] which I think at this point is basically the same thing no it's not don't don't you take away my

[00:41:41] year of wisdom well you would take away my life with these children probably like 72 right now

[00:41:49] it's true actually the black asleep that you have in comparison to me is very true so yeah so Jamie

[00:41:58] this is so yeah I have been thinking about big plans yeah I like it because I like all the stuff

[00:42:10] you're putting down I am interested to see who connects with that I know I know through private

[00:42:18] conversations that we're not the only ones feeling this way like I know for sure but I don't think

[00:42:24] that anybody is wrapping there nobody that I've seen it's basically like when we were filling out

[00:42:30] our applications for Chicago planner conference or remember thinking I don't fucking want to talk

[00:42:36] about goal setting because anybody it is fucking telling you that they have it figured out right

[00:42:42] now is selling something or lying you know like I think there's just so many of us trying to figure

[00:42:48] this stuff out like and I'm not and you know I think there were a lot of people just going going

[00:42:53] going before COVID and now that we've had this time to like step back you know we all are operating

[00:42:59] with a clean slate right now and some people are filling it up quicker than the rest of us but like

[00:43:03] some of us you know I think that it is an interesting opportunity to be intentional about what you

[00:43:09] set let back in and I feel like that was a pretty heavy buzzword before COVID too like intentional

[00:43:15] living but nobody knew what that meant like nobody had an understanding of what it was like to take

[00:43:19] a deeper you know from life to be home to be able to reset to have your time and you know if you

[00:43:25] guys haven't been following me on Instagram you have to know that I'm in COVID 2021 now I'm in the

[00:43:30] plant phase of COVID because we're just working through this as we have a house now and so you know

[00:43:37] I am a little bit behind the curve here but also ahead of the like in the same place everybody else is

[00:43:42] in some ways so yeah I'm down for Colleen's year quarter structured intentional living

[00:43:52] it's the year of me it's the year of me I like it yeah I mean we'll probably come up with it like

[00:43:56] you'll talk to Kelsey and he'll come up with a better name but like that's we're gonna start with

[00:43:59] year of me and then we'll edit it later but this being really envisioned like I can envision

[00:44:07] this process of thinking about how to think about yourself yeah right and there's so many different

[00:44:14] ways to do it right people do this in so many different countless ways and I know and I want to

[00:44:22] yeah we're all already smart people like every most of people that I met I wouldn't say everybody

[00:44:28] most of you let me know a lot of people are pretty too Jamie there's a lot of people in the

[00:44:34] planar community are really accomplished folks or they have the ambition to like stretch for something

[00:44:43] that's why they use a planner like it's it's always interesting to me like when I'm in mixed

[00:44:48] company and trying to explain something and I know about all kinds of things because of the job

[00:44:53] that you do and so I'm like oh yeah I know about that in a very random way or there's

[00:45:02] planar people that I've met that have explained to me like some aspect of their job and so I've

[00:45:06] met a lot of people that have taught me a lot about the world in the planar community so I just

[00:45:10] have to feel like if we we're accomplished people for smart we know about things if we could just

[00:45:16] share information collectively and talk through what each individual is working on like that was

[00:45:21] actually something that I really loved about goal setting you know was that when we were doing the

[00:45:26] goal setting as a group is that there were other people integrating things into their goals that

[00:45:30] I hadn't even thought of like people were integrating like downtime into their goals like I have

[00:45:35] to have this downtime because I need to reset and I haven't been focused on that I have to take

[00:45:39] time scheduled I have to take they have like relationship goals and so when I was doing those goal

[00:45:45] setting groups the thing that was interesting was just seeing what other people were focused on

[00:45:49] and figuring out how to integrate that so I think that that's the upside of doing something like this

[00:45:54] where you are focused on yourself but you can hear from a group of people that are also interested

[00:45:59] in doing that um you can kind of get some structure around what other things you should be letting

[00:46:05] into your life that you maybe haven't considered because I think a lot of us like you said earlier

[00:46:09] just don't know what questions to ask so well we don't know what we don't know right I mean that's a

[00:46:14] classic thing that we say at work is like you don't know what you don't know and so you make decisions

[00:46:19] based on what you're exposed to and so that's I mean so you know so right now like I know I have

[00:46:25] this like broad kind of structure that I think is possible and then it's like okay how do you

[00:46:31] fill it in and like what are the pieces and like who whose work do you add in to help you do

[00:46:39] reflection but ultimately the goal is not necessarily to make it about one specific thing it's to take

[00:46:47] different disciplines right so it's to take different things to see where they resonate with you

[00:46:54] and where have you not gotten that because that to me is so much more interesting than

[00:47:03] you know like I think about this of the heart because specifically it's about emotions

[00:47:07] and really thinking about emotions and defining them and thinking about them

[00:47:12] and I devoured the book the first time I read it and I would like to spend time on it

[00:47:18] to reflect on my responses to things but also I want to spend time trying different things and so

[00:47:28] yeah so part of this is also like I'm gonna do I'm gonna start something called I don't know

[00:47:35] why I haven't called it something yet but it's essentially like the idea is office hours

[00:47:39] like you know in college like professors have office hours where they set aside you know like

[00:47:44] Tuesdays from two to four I'll be available in my office so I want to do something like that but

[00:47:49] for my friends like friend hours where I will go to a coffee shop in town or I will go for happy hour

[00:47:56] and I'm and I will be there from this time to this time if you want to show up and check in or

[00:48:00] like whatever you can do that if nobody does I'll have a book and I can read and it's fine

[00:48:05] but I want to consciously create space to have friends it like to see my friends in different ways

[00:48:13] where it's not like it doesn't have to be an activity it could be having a simple cup of coffee

[00:48:18] and it would be people who just you know I want something to do on a Saturday and it's available

[00:48:25] and so I'm gonna kick that off probably in July maybe even June I don't know but I'm like

[00:48:32] I I want to consciously do something and so so it's like yeah so it's like office hours but it's not

[00:48:43] because it's not really happy hour necessarily right like it'll be and just once a month once

[00:48:48] a month for a few hours right like I'll be here come hang out the only names that I can think

[00:48:55] to call this is something like Careberry so I have nothing to contribute wait what

[00:49:03] what what what it would be a caregiver like per hour no like friendship time

[00:49:16] and then I'm envisioning the logo is like a rainbow with two little clouds on the ends and like

[00:49:25] all the care bears locked oh my god yeah you know I had a team that I'm pretty sure when I was

[00:49:32] a kid so yeah well I mean it's been it's been a really interesting year because I've had

[00:49:38] multiple friends over the last three decades come out of I'll call it the woodwork because that's

[00:49:46] sort of how it feels so like one who I literally have not seen since probably high school graduation

[00:49:52] and then we've had a slumber party and she comes to my book club now she drives down from Phoenix

[00:49:56] for it I had a friend who came last weekend to I haven't seen in 20 years who knew me when I was

[00:50:03] doing things that they think God there wasn't camera like phones for and then I had a friend reached

[00:50:10] out who we were really close about 15 years ago I went to her wedding about 13 years ago maybe

[00:50:17] a little bit longer ago and she's coming back to town and some reconnecting with her and

[00:50:22] it's these different stages of my life and these and people who were important in different ways and

[00:50:32] and it just makes you reflect right like on you know how easily we get disconnected and then

[00:50:38] we get back together there's things that are still the same but then there's also our broken

[00:50:42] pieces that have broken since we've seen somebody and how do we share and help build each other back

[00:50:48] and have that community yeah so I mean I just yeah so I've just been doing a lot of really

[00:50:55] reflective thinking while I haven't been playing it nice well and I completely connect with that

[00:51:03] because the whole time we were RVing it was like a little friendship tour where when we didn't

[00:51:11] have a place that we needed to be we were stopping in to see friends I mean two of my dearest friends

[00:51:17] camp together all the time not because they're friends they become friends but they were like family

[00:51:21] members but like my kindergarten best friend and my high school best friend they like hang out

[00:51:26] together often now and you know and then my adult work friends you know I'm going to see one next

[00:51:35] week and I saw another one last weekend and so those people that I've collected over the years as

[00:51:40] friends have become more involved in my life in more recent years and we have been making a concerted

[00:51:47] effort as I've gone out and seen them to keep in touch in better ways and so those friendships have

[00:51:55] been they've never mingled the streams because they all live in different states but that would be

[00:51:59] fun to do some day anyway but it's really it is really when you get start getting people like

[00:52:07] that together and remembering who you were when you first met them and who you've become

[00:52:13] and see who they've become reconciling all of that amongst what comes next is important you know

[00:52:21] and so like my girlfriend that her daughter just graduated we one of the people at the graduation

[00:52:27] party was another old coworker bars and she was like she was telling us so that she's not ready

[00:52:34] she's got one kid in college and one almost done and she was saying that she is not ready to reconnect

[00:52:40] with her husband and she's unsure what the next phase of their life is completely and so she already

[00:52:48] tricked me somehow I got tricked into coming to Denver in November so that we can have like a whole

[00:52:55] girls weekend to like talk through how our lives are she's very

[00:53:01] November why no them birds beautiful there in the summer

[00:53:08] because that's when we were all free with our calendars oh my god so sorry that is such an adult

[00:53:13] like it is isn't it anyway but she it was funny because she was like she was talking about her

[00:53:19] husband was sitting there so this wasn't like a private conversation where we were shitting on her

[00:53:22] husband or anything my husband was either too and she was just like I don't even know what to do with

[00:53:27] my time when I'm not working like she's definitely years behind me where she's just like I don't

[00:53:33] even know what I do with my time I don't know how you spend time with yourself like and I was like oh

[00:53:40] I've been spending time with myself all the time I'm crafting and quilting and planning

[00:53:45] it's too easy but in time with myself it's too easy yeah it's and that's when I realized it's

[00:53:51] like oh I've gotten really good at one point into life I did not know how to spend time with

[00:53:55] myself and now I've gotten really good at it and now I probably need to leave my hobbit hold just

[00:54:00] a pinch more so there's some balance of all of this stuff for everybody you know but we are

[00:54:08] not gonna sort that out tonight on the podcast so we will continue talking about this and coming

[00:54:14] up with some kind of a some kind of a semi-structured recommendation. Jamie trying to like not scare

[00:54:22] me now. No I well I don't it's your idea and I don't want to take it over and I also

[00:54:29] don't want to say it. Yeah I like the idea of you coming up with some structure and me supporting that

[00:54:35] I appreciate that and I welcome that so you let me know when you want the retreat centers planned

[00:54:46] and I'll just take care of that. Exactly you'll take care of the retreat portion of this event

[00:54:52] yeah yeah so I'm excited because I think like so you know my birthdays in July well our birthdays

[00:54:58] are in July you know they're 24 hours apart minutes apart really if we count it appropriately.

[00:55:06] And so yeah so we'll I'll be working on it and thinking about it but please you know like we'll

[00:55:12] when we when the podcast comes out Jamie will post it in the the PGC group so if you're not in

[00:55:20] there you should definitely be in there and we'd love to hear suggestions and ideas because who knows

[00:55:27] what I'm going to pull in and I don't even know honestly it could be like this is the first three

[00:55:32] months and then the next three months will be something I mean it could even be that open because

[00:55:36] also I don't want to lock in because I want it to be a journey that can go a lot of different ways.

[00:55:42] Yeah well I'll put it like this Colleen this is a boundary that I've been leaving for myself with

[00:55:49] a bunch of different work that I have been doing recently and that is I appreciate you consulting

[00:55:54] with me on allowing me to share my opinion giving you feedback I'm never going to ask about this

[00:56:01] again unless you need to see me if you want something for me on this go ahead and come back

[00:56:06] and I'm more than happy to jump back in. Well well I feel like Jamie just kissed me off

[00:56:12] but which I think it's funny because she's going to want to talk about it offline but that's fine Jamie

[00:56:17] we'll we'll remember you said that when the rights come out for it um so you know keep that

[00:56:23] in the edit so with that Jamie is there anything else you'd like to say to me as well.

[00:56:28] Did you just invite me to write a book with you? No I said it was my book and so the rights are my

[00:56:33] rights so I know but you said that you were appreciated just consulting but that I'd have to come back to you

[00:56:42] okay sounds good it's in your plate it's on your court it's in your I can't wait for all of the

[00:56:50] euphemisms you're gonna use it's down your river tight your belt your canoe has sailed

[00:56:58] bootstrapped up well until next time friends back open that planner

[00:57:09] get your album through the link it can you planning stay awesome audio spatrasios patrachos

[00:57:17] bye thanks for listening to the planner girl chatter podcast subscribe to our channel so you

[00:57:24] don't miss a thing until next time happy planning